February 20, 2005

Banter Mag

I was at B.B's Bar, Clarke Quay, with the Bches yesternight. This Banter Mag that is free circulation. I always like to read and keep a copy. It's witty and funny. Share with you readers some of the jokes that got me laughing out loud. Copyright, of cos, Banter Magazine. Unless they got it from somewhere else and then, I plead ignorance.

For the workplace: Careful What you Eat

A multi-national corporation hired several cannibals. 'You're all part of our team now,' said the HR manager during the welcome briefing. 'You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees.' The cannibals promised they wouldn't.

A few weeks later, the cannibals' boss remarked, 'You're all working very hard, and I'm very pleased with you. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?'

The cannibals all shook their heads, 'No,' they said. After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals turned on the others, 'Right. Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?'

A hand rose hesitantly in admission. 'You fool!' said the leader, 'For weeks now we've been eating managers and consultants and no one's noticed a thing, but noooooo, you had to go and eat someone important!'

For the newly-wed: Allocation of Duties

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Europe and boasted that he had told his wife that she was expected to do all the dishes that needed doing at their house. He said that she took a couple of days, but on the third day the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Asis. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was cleaned, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, and food on the table for every meal. He said he didn't see anything and still by the second day nothing at all. But by the third day, most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.

Hmmm...

Why do people keep running over a piece of string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

My mum would just pick it up and feed the vacuum cleaner. hee...

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 16:10